As I wrote in my last blog, people often inflinct stings and it usually hurts more than a bee-sting.
I doubt that anyone goes through life without some baggage. When I was a child, things weren't so different than they are now, but I do think everything has intensified.
In high school, I can remember walking into history class and down the aisle to my seat. A girl who had previously been my friend had suddenly decided to start jabbing me with verbal barbs. Loudly, as I passed her by, she announced that I 'always' wore the same jeans. Everyone's eyes then zoomed in to take a look at my pants. I'd hear their mocking chuckles.
You know what? She was right, I only owned a few pairs, so I'm sure there was a constant predictable cycle of which days I wore which pair. We weren't 'poor', but we struggled. Dad was a teacher, but his income didn't always stretch from one pay to the next. I can remember Mom emptying her wallet to count pennies when we needed a loaf of bread.
Another day, the girl asked me where I bought my shoes because she had seen the same kind at Valley View. Valley View, in case you didn't grow up near Brookfield, Ohio, was a magnificent store whose slogan was 'four miles of aisles'. It was much like the modern day WalMart. When she said that, I felt my cheeks growing red from embarrassment. I had saved my own money (which I had very precious little of), and bought them for myself. And yes, she pegged it--they came from VV.
If I had the right mindset, I might have asked her why she had been looking at shoes at that (gasp) discount store, but I wasn't inclined to have snappy comebacks like that.
My mom was never one to shop for clothes. She believed in being practical in all ways, so as a very small child, I usually wore my older brother's cast offs. We have photos of Shaun and I, in flannel shirts when I was little. In the days before Kindergarten, my winter coat was a little boy's jacket. When I grew a bit older, I wore what I 'inherited' from my older cousins. They always had pretty and stylish clothes, so I looked forward to that. When they gave me a bag of hand-me-downs, it felt like a day at the shopping mall for me.
Even my First Communion dress was given to me, second hand. I didn't mind at all because I guess I appreciated all that I had. To this day, I'm still like that. I don't like to take things for granted.
Now, please don't feel sorry that things were like this. I have no regrets concerning my growing up years. I never went without the necessities of life. I was showered with love, support, guidance, etc. Mom always had a hot meal on the table, and a hug when I skinned my knees. Dad always had a lap to sit in, and a smile of approval.
I had most of the typical experiences throughout my childhood that many of us have...kids who yelled at me because I didn't score a goal in gym class, or I missed the ball...kids who made fun of me for crying...those who made fun of my looks...or my clothes...or my friends...for being 'too smart'...for being 'too dumb'...for being too skinny...for not being popular...for being a goody two shoes...or any one of a million other things...
The worst thing about being a kid in 2011 is that all this stuff starts at an earlier stage than it did when I was a kid.
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This is a followup to my post on Confessing...I'm going to post a link in case you might like to go to Confession but forgot how!
http://www.catholic.org/prayers/confession.php
Lent is just around the corner, so it is a great time to get back to God! God never goes out of style!
HUGSxxxAnnie
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