Yesterday's post was confusing for at least one of my readers, so I beg you to read on...
At the very core of all humans, there is a deep longing for love. What do we want from love? We want acceptance, approval, admiration, affection, tenderness, concern, humor, consolation, guidance, mutual giving, help, sweetness....
Think of someone that you love so much you would go to any lengths to be with them. Remember a time when you had to depart from someone--a parent, a spouse, a child, a dear friend--and how it made your heart feel like it had dropped down to your stomach. Recall a time when the world had you beaten down and discouraged and that person buffeted you with their words of encouragement...when their smile or embrace was a balm for your wounds. Ponder the times you felt isolated and desolate and someone who loved you pulled you close and their smile was like a mountain spring to your parched spirit.
People are diverse but we're all wired to love. That doesn't mean we don't go about it in the wrong way much of the time. We can find ourselves attached to things or habits to try and fill that void. That's why we get addicted to shopping, or drugs, or smoking, or any other number of things.
Because we're all broken in some way, we tend to get off track and search for fulfillment in things that can never satisfy that yearning.
I'm a very child-like individual. I am basically very joyful. I like to smile. I am openly affectionate. It is not difficult for me to express my feelings. I am fortunate to have this personality.
I'm glad I'm wired this way because I have found that people welcome joy, light, smiles, affection. There's so much anger, hurt, unforgiveness, and pain in the world. I don't want to contribute to that. Sorry to admit that I'm guilty of that in the past, and sometimes fall into it now. I don't want to inflict harm, but spread joy where I go. I'd like to be a little bee, drawing the nectar of love from within and spreading the pollen of joy everywhere I go.
I love God as his daughter. I love Him as a poor sinner. I love Him as His creation. I love Him as the fulfillment to every need that I have. My relationship with Him is very real, to the point that He has touched my soul. When He does this, it is rapture.
I will reveal to you a little secret I've had. Over 10 years ago, as John and I were drawing closer to God through a very difficult trial (my Mom's very close brush with death), one day something remarkable happened.
We were standing together, when like a bolt of lightning, something very real and powerful went through me like an electric current. I felt powerless to move, almost paralyzed with a feeling of total peace, yet powerful at the same time! A true paradox. I could scarcely breathe! For several minutes, I remained in this state, not understanding it in any way. For some reason, I KNEW what it was, though. The peace was something beyond my human experience. It was the touch of God. I looked at John. He had tears running down his cheeks and a look of serenity in his eyes.
I knew that he was caught up in the same current. We didn't speak for several minutes, but remained still. It was like we were frozen, almost unable to move. When this magical moment passed, we were again animated, and we began to rush into an excited chatter with each other. The ecstasy, the rapture, of having been touched was so fresh, it lingered in our hearts for days afterward.
Why did this happen? Well, it was the start of many such occasions, and other mystical experiences for us as a married couple. The highest level of human intimacy is unquestionably the the marital 'act'. The giving of spouses to one another in this way is deeply bonding, mutually fulfilling, lifegiving. It is the supreme demonstration of their love, and a renewal of their marital vows.
The encounter with God on that day surpassed the exhiliration of the marial act by a zillion miles. This, I cannot explain. The experience was simultaneous for John and I, happening at the very same instant. It is a mystery as to why it happened, although we have had many, many other experinces that perhaps I will write about. Because of this, we have some understanding of why God had done this for us. (After that, it happened on several other occasions.)
I don't view us as being special in that God has shared something like this with us. I think we all have the potential to encounter God in ways that can surprise us. It is all about being open to Him in honestly and sincerity.
If anyone is interested, I'll gladly expound on this, and explain better if you'd like to know what this is all about...
Drop me a line, and I'll blog some more. :)
And just to let you know--I love each and everyone of my readers/friends. Each one of you is dear to me in your own special way. I would do anything I could to build you up in your lives, and I want to smile sunlight onto your rainy days.
More about this in future posts...
HUGSxxxAnnie
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