Feeling blue

One of Those Days

During the summer, I like to relax my schedule as much as possible because throughout the other three seasons, I am stuck on a merry go round that doesn't quit.  I like merry go rounds, but for nine months, that can make me dizzy!

I feel like no matter how much I try to move forward and make changes to things that frustrate me, I always end up back where I started, and I am just realllllly tired out.

The two little neighbor girls, ages five and eight, have been pushed into my life by parents who seem to see me as a free babysitter.  I don't mind that Therese has playmates, but I don't want to raise someone else's kids. 

Every morning at 8:15 or 8:30, an insistent knocking comes at my front door, which starts a chain reaction.  The dog begins to bark hysterically, everyone that is trying to sleep is jolted from their slumber.  I'm almost always up way before then, but I cherish being able to have my coffee leisurely and that just sticks in my craw.  It's those kids.  Today I called the girls over and I said, "STOP coming over here so early in the morning.  Do not come to my door until at least 10 am."  Now, we will see if they actually listen because they never do.

Something is desperately the matter with them.  I can't pinpoint it, but the elder one has told me at least three or four times that she wants me to adopt her.  They do not understand boundaries.  They continually walk inside my house.  They make a huge mess here and leave stuff behind every time they are over.  Each day, it's something, not just one or two things, but a dozen or more.  Shoes, jackets, cereal bowls, food, toys, and other assorted things.  I have told them to stop and they never do.  So, yesterday I said, "If you leave ANYTHING here again, you will not be allowed over the rest of that day."  The little one came, left a roll of toilet paper (I have no idea why she had that?) here, shoes, toys, etc., so I sent her home.  She bawled all the way across the street.  OH WELL!!!

 They have broken three of our solar lights.  They knocked over my statue of the Virgin Mary.  They pick up my cats and throw them.  They steal stuff.  The younger one stole a toy of Therese's and ruined it.  When Therese told her mom about it, her mother yelled at Therese "OH, do you really think she'd do that?", then 'Get out!'.  When the kid told her mom that she had stolen it, her mom said, 'Well, I can't afford to replace it!'.  That wasn't the point, the point was she should have taken that opportunity to discipline her child.

I'm just tired.  I have been raising my own family over half my life.  My kids are spaced out from 2 to 4 years apart, and it has taken enormous patience  and perserverance on my part to do this day in and day out for the past 25 years. I do not like that these parents don't take care of their own kids, but seem to think it's okay to send them my way.

I feel sorry for these children, but at the same time, I am very angry.  I don't see why people don't love their children enough to do what parents are expected to do.  It's not easy, I get that.  I've had awful days in my time as a mom.  Days when I cried myself to sleep.  Days that I got NO sleep.  Days when everything felt so darned frustrating.

But, I cannot excuse their parents.  Their kids will only be little for a short time.  Take care of them!

I'm struggling with some stuff here...feeling really tired...having major "female" troubles...trying to stay on top of things with my own family...

I guess I just needed to vent.  My day has just been terribly trying, even though it has not been a bad day in any overt way.  It's just ONE of those days.